Discovering the Relevance of Words
Grammar is sexy, and when I threw myself into the online dating world a couple of years ago, it played a massive part in who I would select to email, as well as to whom I would respond. When dealing with an online start to a relationship, it’s mind-blowing how lazy certain people can be. The fact that someone has the time to compose an email, and yet still makes the decision to send a text-speak cluttered, grammatically challenged message, is simply sad.
It’s not that I don’t make grammatical mistakes from time to time. There have been instances over the last couple of weeks, where I’ve gone back to edit a few of these posts in order to clean up a few homophones, or tense issues. And I’ve definitely sent out emails and text messages with misspelled words, or quick acronyms to save a bit of time. It’s unfortunate, but true. That being said, those messages were not going to someone I was trying to date, or get to know, or even just someone for an evening adventure. In fact, I always stopped writing back to a woman if she sent me a message that contained text-speak, or any obvious grammatical errors – it didn’t matter if I was trying to get to know her, or trying to get to know her. It’s a turn off, and not one that I can overcome.
When I began emailing and texting with my fiance, I could tell that she cared about each and every word she sent my direction. It wasn’t just that I was an English teacher, but that she actually paid attention to what she was saying, and expected the same from me. She even called me out for using “gonna” in a few messages. I knew right away that this girl was a keeper. It’s not often that you find a knock-out who can also put together a proper sentence. I was hooked.
I completely understand that we are moving into a new generation, and with a new generation comes new colloquialisms. I get it; however, that does not mean when someone is attempting to start an initial conversation with another person, that they should use said colloquialisms. There’s nothing wrong with telling another person, “You look absolutely gorgeous. I would love to get your number, and take you out sometime.” But to say, “Yo, baby, you’s fine. I’s fiddin’ to get your digits, an take you out,” just… well, it sounds exactly like it sounds: dumb, and illiterate. I work in a high school, and I hear those pick-up lines all day long. It’s beyond disturbing.
Dating in the grammatically challenged world can be difficult; however, it can be done. Don’t lower the bar on what you are looking for in a partner. In fact, raise that bar a bit higher, and I promise that you’ll turn around to, or open an email from, a person who can put together more than a fragment of a sentence.