You probably don’t like me. I mean, let’s face it, I’m an overweight, lazy, rarely motivated, out-of-shape, ill-mannered, argumentative, pessimistic asshole. It’s true. The glass is not half-full, or half-empty, because typically there’s whiskey in it, and if it’s empty, then I’ve run out, and I’m pissed off, and just hoping that there’s another bottle lying around somewhere. Actually, that’s not true, which also makes me a liar. I don’t drink all that much these days, and I buy expensive whiskey, so when I do drink it, I sip it, and when it gets to the bottom of the glass, I’m fairly satisfied, because let’s face it, it’s good whiskey, and I’m probably a bit more relaxed than when I started. I enjoy a good escape from reality, which I get from writing, or music, or whatever else it is I do. I have fifty pounds to lose, but live less than a mile from a gym membership that I boast about on Facebook once or twice a month when I decide I need a “feel-good” moment in my life. I pry into other people’s business, take on everyone’s issues except my own, and until recently refused to admit that I needed to see a shrink. Now, I’m the medicated facade of happy, which makes those around me like me a bit more, and I don’t get as annoyed with, well, those around me. I’m the catch of the century, and I’ll teach your children all they need to know about life, love, success, ruined dreams, unclaimed achievements, drugs, sex, and rock ‘n’ roll.
All that being said, I don’t really care what you think, because, really, why should I? It’s my life, and the only thing that matters is that I know who the hell I am. Actually, over the last couple of years, I’ve truly come to like myself. It’s been a welcomed change. Sure, I’m most of what I’ve written above, but to be perfectly honest – and let’s face it, I’ve already said I’m a liar, so how many of you will really believe me? – I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I have the perfect fiance, the greatest cats, I get to play music on a regular basis, write my heart out, interview my idols, and teach the future leaders of the free world. I’m looking at marriage, a family, financial freedom, and when I look in the mirror, I can smile back at myself, knowing that each day is going to be as good as I allow it to be, and that I can make the changes needed to better myself – as long as I want to, which I finally, after several years, actually want to do. I’m a tattooed, cardigan, t-shirt, jeans, and glasses wearing, rock ‘n’ roll singing, stream of consciousness writing, mostly pessimistic lover of literature, and I kick ass.
So, how about you?
Question of the Day:
Who the hell are you?