Discovering the Relevance of Words
At first, I kind of thought someone would make me happen. If I could just network enough and make enough friends and attach myself to the right people, then someone would make ME happen. People would read my poetry and my blog and buy my CDs and it would all just fall together like a perfectly arranged combination move in Candy Crush. I wouldn’t have to try.
And in some sense, it’s partially luck of the draw. Who you know and don’t know matters, and a lot of times you can’t control that. JUST LIKE YOU CAN’T CONTROL WHEN CANDY CRUSH RELEASES THE NEXT LITTLE APPLE OR CHERRY UGH.
But in another sense, it’s about dedication. It’s about choices, and it’s about choosing to romance your craft over going out for the night, over watching America’s Got Talent for four hours, over buying a car that doesn’t make terrifying noises all the time because you’re trying to save up for your next EP, over everything else that seems like it matters in the moment but doesn’t actually when you’re laying in bed at night wondering why you’ve done nothing that day to contribute to the sum total of beauty in the world. Kind of like how when you’re playing Candy Crush, you just have to ignore everything around you (other people, other vehicles, etc.) and FOCUS.
And sometimes you get stuck for DAYS. And sometimes the process is painstakingly slow (QUESTS, anybody?!). And sometimes it’s really easy and you’re impressed at your own writing/candy-swiping skills and you wonder why you ever doubted yourself. And sometimes you wallow in the depths of despair because it seems like you’ll be on that level forever and there’s no possible way to win.
But the thing is that THERE IS. And if you just keep trying, eventually you’ll get the right combination of luck and dedication and the little candy fishies will swim all over your screen and give you bonus points and YOU WIN and I think my analogy is breaking down now.
The point is, nobody is going to beat Candy Crush for me. And nobody is going to make me happen for me. Nobody ever could. The thing that’s holding me back the most is not anything or anybody outside of myself and my own fears and insecurities and utter laziness. AND THOSE DAMNED LICORICE CAGES.
One thing I’ve learned in life is that if someone says they want to be with you, and they’re not with you, what that really means is that maybe they do want to be with you, but they actually want something else more. I think the same goes for our writing. We say that we want it, that we value it more than anything, that it’s what we were born to do, and yet every day, consistently, we choose other things over it.
And I, for one, would like to call all of us—writers, artists, bloggers, poets, beautiful creative minds—to something higher. Enough of that. We’re better than that and life is too short.
Nobody is going to make me happen.
Nobody is going to make you happen.
The only thing to do is work hard, with passion and dedication, with a sober mind and an unwavering heart. Speak for yourself, speak for others, speak because the universe demands it of you and do not back down.
And if you get one of those sparkly disco ball thingies, that should help, too.