The Poetry Question

Discovering the Relevance of Words

QOTD- We’re Gonna Need A Bigger Boat?



“Must’ve come up the gulf stream.”

I think of this line and I picture a young Richard Dreyfuss in a dirty college sweatshirt pulling a license plate out of shark’s stomach in one of the greatest movies ever made.  And then, because my mind wanders, I think of Darryl Hammond doing his impression of Richard Dreyfuss getting all worked up and saying the line, “I think that I am familiar with the fact that you are going to ignore this particular problem until it swims up and BITES YOU ON THE ASS!”

And that makes me laugh.

But why did I think of that scene at all?

Because the first headline I read today had to do with a giant mako shark and the contents of its stomach.

Evidently you can learn a lot about a shark by what it has eaten. Which is a little baffling, since it seems like a shark will eat anything.

“A bullet, 24 pork steaks wrapped in paper and a soggy salad.”

This is what the scientist dissecting the shark’s guts said in response to a question about the weirdest thing she’d ever found in a shark. I once heard of a shark that was caught and cut open to reveal a full sized mannequin torso. I have no source for this information, but it is creepy.

My wandering mind must eventually end up at the question of what Richard Dreyfuss would find if he hauled me up on to a dock and opened me up. What would he learn about me?

“Looks like he must’ve come up the interstate,” he’d say, pulling fast food and wads of chewed gum and fingernails out of my bloated carcass. “he was obviously a nervous person. And single.” Then he would probably pull out a license plate. That’s good for a laugh.

Food says a lot about culture and personality. What could we learn about you from your diet?

Would Quinn need a bigger boat?




About Doran Simmons

I'm a writer and a camper and a keeper of fish. I was trained as a flight instructor and work day jobs and write nonsense for public consumption (hopefully).

2 comments on “QOTD- We’re Gonna Need A Bigger Boat?

  1. Mess
    August 9, 2013

    I am an adult woman with a lot going for me. Based on just the contents of my stomach, though, you would never know that. It’s all Cheeze-Its and alcohol in there. (gets-me-through-the-day)

  2. J. Gabriel Allan
    August 9, 2013

    “100% Paleo 80% of the time”

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