The Poetry Question

Discovering the Relevance of Words

Short Review: #Twitter

The opinions shared in Doran’s Review Corner (Working Title) are not necessarily those of the Poetry Question or even of the author. Sometimes they aren’t even opinions. It’s important to note that the author does not run the Poetry Question’s Twitter page or even reliably run his own. His tweets are sporadic and odd, and sometimes simply make no sense. #Disclaimer #thattitlesucks #italics #imreallygoodatthis #hashtag 


Twitter is fun.

It’s like a little community of terrible people who all get together to be vulgar and send one another pictures of their privates and complain about their kids. It’s full of aspiring comedians all climbing over each other to be the first one to make an insensitive joke about a recently dead celebrity, so clearly I feel right at home there. I like to think of it as a giant wall, so covered in gratuitous swear words and cartoon penises that my contribution of graffiti couldn’t possibly send it over the edge into complete obscenity. No matter how weird and graphic that contribution might be.

It’s a strange kind of freedom, but freedom nonetheless.

I heard it referred to as ‘microblogging’ recently and threw up a little on my best threadbare sweatshirt. It was an involuntary reaction to a term I immediately hated yet failed to find fault with. I guess that’s what it is. A diary for the sound byte world, where the shorter a quote is the more profound it must be. Why sustain a thought over several pages and flesh it out when you can boil it down to a t-shirt slogan that may or may not be meaningless? I mean, well thought out ideas don’t end arguments with stupid people like shouted slogans do. Especially if said slogans rhyme.

I guess calling Twitter a blog gives it some kind of literary weight I don’t think it deserves? I don’t know. And who am I to make that call? Hell, even claiming that the term ‘blog’ has any literary substance is itself an inflammatory statement to some old-schoolers. I’m probably only doing that now because I’m writing on one as we speak and refuse to believe that anything being written AND read by anyone is worthless.

So I guess I just answered my own question. There’s no shame in micro-blogging or regular blogging, or anything really. Well, there is shame in some things. Like those pictures @butttzilla78 keeps sending to my Twitter. It’s not that I’m not impressed, Butttzilla78, but if you keep doing that you could really hurt yourself or the the person holding the camera.

Safety first.

Twitter is very popular, and I still feel a need to hate popular things. Its a knee-jerk reaction that I’ve had since I was young and satisfied with myself and thought everyone should like the things that I like and, more importantly, hate the things that I hate. I’m working on changing that, but it still rears its ugly head from time to time, usually in the form of belittling comments describing the popular thing like the ones in the paragraphs above. I might owe Twitter an apology.

But I don’t think so. Because I started this review the same way I’m going to end it. Twitter is fun. Oversharing is fun sometimes, and flirting with people you’ll never meet, and making bad jokes about your kids or dead celebrities or your kids poking dead celebrities with a stick. Not everyone has the time or inclination to tap on a keyboard for hours and flesh out every meaningless thought and piece of trivia that crosses their mind. Some people just want to share pictures of weirdos at Walmart and make inside jokes about poop. And those people might be the best people in the world.


Also, follow me on Twitter for pictures of weirdos at Walmart and jokes about poop. @doransimmons


About Doran Simmons

I'm a writer and a camper and a keeper of fish. I was trained as a flight instructor and work day jobs and write nonsense for public consumption (hopefully).

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This entry was posted on June 18, 2014 by in COMMENTARY and tagged , , , , , .

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