Maybe future me can travel back
to previous me and give guidance.
Perhaps future me can convince
current me to let him go, walk away,
move on. Perhaps past me can
remind me I’ve made these mistakes
before. Perhaps current me could listen.
– from “Past Lives”
Somewhere between Nature and Nurture lies our monster. It’s in our minds, our mouths, our fists, and our mirrors. It’s who we are when least expected. It’s the big feelings we can’t explain. It’s the reason we cower in the dark. It’s the reason we raise our voices to those we are said to love. It’s the reason some loves end or begin or don’t.
In Courtney LeBlanc’s Beautiful & Full of Monsters (Vegetarian Alcoholic Press), monster is abuse and challenge and a fear of self. It is the person who is supposed to love without the broken plaster. Our defender turned demonstrative. Turned devil with all the details of your life – everything to hold against you instead of just holding you. This is a story of survival and betrayal and love lost when it should have mattered more.
LeBlanc has written a pensive and powerful look at love and all it is supposed to be. It’s a reminder that sometimes we have to unravel our lives. We have to pull the strings until we find our beginning – until we remind ourselves that it’s okay to begin.